The Small Penis Rule: A Strategy for Evading Libel Lawsuits

The Small Penis Rule Defined

The small penis rule is an informal strategy used by authors to evade libel lawsuits by introducing a humiliating physical trait—specifically a small penis—to a character based on a real person. The goal is to create a scenario where the target of the satire or critique would be too embarrassed to admit in a court of law that the character is a representation of them.

This strategy was first described in a 1998 New York Times article by Dinitia Smith, quoting a legal expert who noted that for a fictional portrait to be actionable as libel, the reader must be able to link the character to the real person. By adding a detail like a small penis, authors believe they can prevent a plaintiff from coming forward to say, "That character... that's me!"

Legal Effectiveness and Limitations

While the strategy is intended to protect authors, legal scholars argue that it does not provide a foolproof legal defense against defamation. Professor Michael Conklin, writing in the Nebraska Law Review: Bulletin, argues that the small penis rule is legally ineffective for several reasons:

• Defamatory Nature: The statement that a person has a small penis can be interpreted as defamatory in itself.
• Admission of Intent: Using the rule can be seen as an admission that the author intended to defame a specific person.
• Lack of Requirement for Admission: A plaintiff does not necessarily need to admit to having a small penis to successfully claim damages in a defamation suit.

According to Conklin, the actual effectiveness of the rule is not based on legal validity, but on the psychological deterrent of potential humiliation associated with the public record of a lawsuit.

Notable Literary Examples

Several high-profile authors have utilized this strategy to target their peers or critics:

Michael Crichton and Michael Crowley

In a 2006 dispute, journalist Michael Crowley alleged that author Michael Crichton included a character named "Mick Crowley" in the novel Next. The character was described as a Washington, D.C.-based journalist and Yale graduate who was a child rapist with a small penis. This occurred after Crowley had written an unflattering review of Crichton's novel State of Fear.

Peter James and Martin Amis

British crime writer Peter James used the strategy in his novel Not Dead Yet to target former classmate Martin Amis. James created a villainous character named Amis Smallbone, whose penis was mocked by a prostitute as being "like a tiny little pencil stub."